February 18th, 2014 was a day that made its mark on the Hooper household. We found out Scott had a tumor and that it was likely cancerous. Our lives turned upside-down in an instant. I wrote about that eventful day here.
The average time someone with Glioblastoma lives for is 15 months. Just 15 months. Can you believe that? Scott did not quite make it to 12 months. We were told that because of his age and how well he responded to treatment, he might be one of the lucky few people who lives years and not months. Sadly, this was not the case.
I’ll tell you, though. So much can happen in one year. Our lives can pass us in the blink of an eye. Our children grow up too quickly. Before we know it, you’re old and surrounded by grandchildren. But really, stop and think, how much can you fit into 365 days? One year of your life. 525,600 minutes gone by.
When you find out that your timeline is much more finite than you had originally expected, what would you do?
I’ll tell you what Scott did. First off, it is not the glamorous, take life by the reins and live life to its absolute fullest. At least not necessarily for Scott. He had a disability to overcome. A disability which meant over 40 days living in the hospital doing therapy and learning how to adjust his life in accordance with his abilities. It meant loneliness for him as I could not be there every minute of every day. My life was consumed with taking care of children and finding us a home. It meant sadness and depression. He eventually was no longer in denial and he had to come face-to-face with brain cancer and a disability. He had to come to terms that he would be dependent upon me, his mother, and others around him. He might never get to work again. He felt useless. Helpless. Hopeless.
I can’t speak from personal experience, but I can speak from observation. When someone learns that he or she is going to die, they appear to go through the stages of grief. Grief over the life they once had and grief for the life they will miss when they are gone. Scott went through many of those stages, while in the hospital and after he came home.
We talked about legacies he could leave behind for the kids. Video recordings for each one of them that he could create. But just talking about it would leave him sobbing. The thought of his babies growing up without him in their lives tore at his being. It is something no one ever really thinks about. Eventually, though, he was resolved to having more pictures of him, especially with the kids. Eventually, though, he came to the realization that he needs to enjoy life and to create wonderful memories with me and the children. And we did just that. We did so many things with him and created so many wonderful memories. And while I think we still could have done so much more, I can say that without a doubt, we had fun and we did make the most of what time he did have left.
“Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.” – Wash, Firefly
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